Progress: Tomorrow will be 2 years + 9 months since we were approved.
How I'm Feeling: It's kinda a crazy thought that if we had gotten pregnant the day we got approved, we would now have a 2 year old. I think I'm patiently, hopefully, waiting. Physically and emotionally I'm just feeling a little crummy...okay, a lot crummy, right now.
Craving: I'm not super-hungry right now but I would totally take almost anything loaded with melted cheese...grilled cheese sandwich, pizza, you name it.
Thoughts about our future child: I've been reading so much from adoptees and birth mothers, and we recently watched Adopted, so it's on my mind, hoping that you and I will have a good relationship and that I will be able to help you feel free to be able to talk to me about what you're feeling.
Thoughts about our child's expectant mom: I hope you will have support, particularly after the adoption as you go back to life with a baby-shaped hole in your heart. I hope you will be able and willing to be a part of our baby's life, for your sake, his/her sake, and ours, too.
Most recent baby purchase/gift: Nothing really.
This month God: Has been teaching me how good He is! I wrote about it here.
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Motherhood Month - 19
Progress: It's been a total of 2 years + 2 months + 2 days of actively waiting with our adoption agency.
How I'm Feeling: Ready.
Craving: A hot dog (bun has to be toasted!).
Thoughts About Our Future Child: I'm curious about you - your looks, your personality - and in general, just eager to meet you. I'm curious to learn about the person you'll develop into, and what our relationship will be like.
Thoughts About Our Child's Expectant Mom: I wonder where you are at in life right now, and if you're expecting already. I wonder if you'll stay in our child's life or not, and what our relationship will be like. I pray for you.
Most Recent Baby Purchase/Gift: Nothing. I overspent on my hubby's Christmas gift this year by accident (I didn't think to account for the exchange rate!) so I won't be getting him a gift for our baby like I usually do each year.
How I'm Feeling: Ready.
Craving: A hot dog (bun has to be toasted!).
Thoughts About Our Future Child: I'm curious about you - your looks, your personality - and in general, just eager to meet you. I'm curious to learn about the person you'll develop into, and what our relationship will be like.
Thoughts About Our Child's Expectant Mom: I wonder where you are at in life right now, and if you're expecting already. I wonder if you'll stay in our child's life or not, and what our relationship will be like. I pray for you.
Most Recent Baby Purchase/Gift: Nothing. I overspent on my hubby's Christmas gift this year by accident (I didn't think to account for the exchange rate!) so I won't be getting him a gift for our baby like I usually do each year.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Motherhood Month - 17
Progress: It has been 2 years + 5 months + 1 day since we were approved to adopt. We took a 5-month hiatus from April 28 - Sept. 22 of this year.
How I'm Feeling: It feels good to be actively waiting to adopt again. The five months off were our choice and we felt they were necessary, as we felt my health needed to be under better control before we felt comfortable proceeding with adoption. I say it as if going on hold was easy. It was not. I had a lot of feelings before we went on hold and while we were on hold, that ranged from anguish to anger to fear to confusion to grief to apathy to relief to sadness to contentment...and not necessarily in that order. I would say that now that we're active again, I am still looking forward to getting "the call" and without a doubt I still want to be a mom, but unlike a couple of years ago it is no longer an all-consuming desire that controls me.
Craving: A glass of water and some plain Ruffles potato chips.
Thoughts About Our Future Child: Looking forward to holding you, snuggling you and smelling your newborn smell.
Thoughts About Our Child's Expectant Mom: I'm thankful you're not choosing to abort.
Most Recent Baby Purchase/Gift: I bought a little something for my hubby, whose birthday is tomorrow.
How I'm Feeling: It feels good to be actively waiting to adopt again. The five months off were our choice and we felt they were necessary, as we felt my health needed to be under better control before we felt comfortable proceeding with adoption. I say it as if going on hold was easy. It was not. I had a lot of feelings before we went on hold and while we were on hold, that ranged from anguish to anger to fear to confusion to grief to apathy to relief to sadness to contentment...and not necessarily in that order. I would say that now that we're active again, I am still looking forward to getting "the call" and without a doubt I still want to be a mom, but unlike a couple of years ago it is no longer an all-consuming desire that controls me.
Craving: A glass of water and some plain Ruffles potato chips.
Thoughts About Our Future Child: Looking forward to holding you, snuggling you and smelling your newborn smell.
Thoughts About Our Child's Expectant Mom: I'm thankful you're not choosing to abort.
Most Recent Baby Purchase/Gift: I bought a little something for my hubby, whose birthday is tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Epilepsy & Parenting
I've been debating whether to talk about this on my blog for two months. Remember I mentioned back here that we'd been going through some difficult times? And then I missed two Motherhood Months in a row. Well, I am still here and we are still waiting to adopt. But I did have a seizure.
I haven't hidden the fact that I have epilepsy from my readers nor from any potential birthparents who may read my blog (just to be clear, where I live, it is illegal to advertize ourselves, so this blog is not in any way intended to solicit birthparents to choose us). I've mentioned it here, here, and most recently, here. I've also mentioned it in the above tabs.
But I still have felt reluctant to talk freely about my epilepsy here. My hesitation comes from a fear of not being chosen, the fear of all expectant adoptive parents. When talking it over with Hubby last month, he said he thinks I should go right ahead and speak freely about my epilepsy on my blog. After all, he said, how would our future child's birthparents feel if they realized, after they'd placed with us, that we'd kept this hidden from them? I realized what he said made sense (although my epilepsy, like every other teeny-tiny part of our lives, is written up at our agency for potential birthparents to read anyway!).
Another (lesser) fear is that my readers will judge me for choosing to parent with epilepsy. This one is fairly simply addressed by telling myself "Who cares what they think?" Thankfully I have the kind of personality that I can tell myself that somewhat easily, haha.
My other completely wild, unfounded fear is that CFS would take away my child(ren) due to my epilepsy. I think this fear comes from growing up in a [good] home where my parents fostered children for most of my childhood and teen years. And I guess living in today's paranoid world, we are all aware of how quickly people will report even imagined things, and CFS will swoop in and devastate a family. (Don't get me wrong, I know CFS does good as well; after all, my parents worked with them for years. I just think people are too trigger-happy with their reporting, and that more emphasis should be put on helping families rather than breaking them apart.) The way to comfort myself about this fear is reminding myself that (1) my doctor is completely on my side, and (2) there are many people who parent with disabilities, successfully.
So. About that seizure. I've had epilepsy, specifically Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, for 14.5 years now. Well, it's been that long since my first seizure. I had it for probably 1/2 a year to a year or so before that. So during that time I've had 7 seizures. One in the year 2000, three in 2005, two in 2008, and then almost a full six years later (my record), I had seizure #7 on September 8, 2014. As you can see, I don't have them frequently at all. I do regularly get "jerks" (bilateral muscle spasms in my arms), though they seem to have settled into a "once a month" pattern for now.
So on September 8th, a Monday, I got up and went about my morning, making lunch and going online. I was jerking a bit and decided to lie down. I texted Hubby to let him know I was jerking and proceeded to rest. I then had the seizure but did not realize it til later of course. What I knew next was I was walking around disoriented, from room to room around the house, very nauseous and feeling terror. I felt I needed to get help but could not recall any phone numbers. When my mind cleared up enough that I could recall my husband's phone number, I phoned him and told him I was scared. He came home immediately (he was there in 20 minutes!). During that time I rested and my mind cleared up all the way and I realized I had had a seizure. I knew this from past experience, although did I mention this was my very first seizure all alone?!? All my other seizures someone has been there to prevent me from getting up, which apparently I always want to do when the seizure's over, and to comfort me, because I always feel terrified while coming to. Well, anyway, I took all those factors into consideration, as well as the fact that my tongue was a bit bitten and my upper arms were incredibly sore; all normal. Hubby came home, very concerned, and held my hand while I slept and recovered, sweet man of mine.
Here's to hoping I can beat my record and go over six years seizure-free this time!
Well, how did this seizure affect our thoughts and feelings toward adopting? It definitely had a big effect for both of us. I guess this seizure was a bit of wake-up call for us. We knew epilepsy would affect our parenting, but we hadn't really talked about it thoroughly or made any specific plans. Now, all of a sudden, both of us completely doubted my ability to parent. We didn't talk about it immediately but each knew what the other was thinking. I went from being completely excited about adopting (with the occasional "we'll never get matched" times, of course) to completely losing my joy. I didn't read any of my (thousands of) adoption blogs I follow, nor blog here, nor read about adoption, dream about it, and I didn't even want to talk about it. I felt completely --blank-- inside.
When Hubby & I first approached the topic with each other, I broke down into those physically-painful sobs: I could not, would not, consider not adopting. I'd already had one dream - pregnancy - stolen from me, I would not have another!! We decided to not talk further about it right then. We prayed about it. I read up about parenting with epilepsy. We set a date to talk about it more thoroughly. When we talked about it we found we were both scared about continuing but I wanted to more; he wanted to quit more. We talked a couple times and never got upset with each other which was wonderful.
We took some steps: I made an appointment with my neurologist (well, I had to find a new one, so that appt's coming up) to see if he knows any parents with my specific kind of epilepsy. I also talked to some family members to see how willing they would be to babysit in the early mornings for the first few years of Baby's life and that has been encouraging all around. Hubby read what I had found on parenting with epilepsy. He also talked with a trusted friend who I know is praying for us as well. We agreed to continue, and if we get matched, awesome, and if not, perhaps that is God's way of saying "no". I talked with my regular doctor and she was very encouraging, saying she supports me completely, that I will be a good parent, etc. A close family member who is very supportive of us adopting has committed to helping babysit as needed. Although we are now looking at things more realistically, we are all around feeling more hopeful. My joy is returning. Praise the Lord!
I haven't hidden the fact that I have epilepsy from my readers nor from any potential birthparents who may read my blog (just to be clear, where I live, it is illegal to advertize ourselves, so this blog is not in any way intended to solicit birthparents to choose us). I've mentioned it here, here, and most recently, here. I've also mentioned it in the above tabs.
But I still have felt reluctant to talk freely about my epilepsy here. My hesitation comes from a fear of not being chosen, the fear of all expectant adoptive parents. When talking it over with Hubby last month, he said he thinks I should go right ahead and speak freely about my epilepsy on my blog. After all, he said, how would our future child's birthparents feel if they realized, after they'd placed with us, that we'd kept this hidden from them? I realized what he said made sense (although my epilepsy, like every other teeny-tiny part of our lives, is written up at our agency for potential birthparents to read anyway!).
Another (lesser) fear is that my readers will judge me for choosing to parent with epilepsy. This one is fairly simply addressed by telling myself "Who cares what they think?" Thankfully I have the kind of personality that I can tell myself that somewhat easily, haha.
My other completely wild, unfounded fear is that CFS would take away my child(ren) due to my epilepsy. I think this fear comes from growing up in a [good] home where my parents fostered children for most of my childhood and teen years. And I guess living in today's paranoid world, we are all aware of how quickly people will report even imagined things, and CFS will swoop in and devastate a family. (Don't get me wrong, I know CFS does good as well; after all, my parents worked with them for years. I just think people are too trigger-happy with their reporting, and that more emphasis should be put on helping families rather than breaking them apart.) The way to comfort myself about this fear is reminding myself that (1) my doctor is completely on my side, and (2) there are many people who parent with disabilities, successfully.
So. About that seizure. I've had epilepsy, specifically Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, for 14.5 years now. Well, it's been that long since my first seizure. I had it for probably 1/2 a year to a year or so before that. So during that time I've had 7 seizures. One in the year 2000, three in 2005, two in 2008, and then almost a full six years later (my record), I had seizure #7 on September 8, 2014. As you can see, I don't have them frequently at all. I do regularly get "jerks" (bilateral muscle spasms in my arms), though they seem to have settled into a "once a month" pattern for now.
So on September 8th, a Monday, I got up and went about my morning, making lunch and going online. I was jerking a bit and decided to lie down. I texted Hubby to let him know I was jerking and proceeded to rest. I then had the seizure but did not realize it til later of course. What I knew next was I was walking around disoriented, from room to room around the house, very nauseous and feeling terror. I felt I needed to get help but could not recall any phone numbers. When my mind cleared up enough that I could recall my husband's phone number, I phoned him and told him I was scared. He came home immediately (he was there in 20 minutes!). During that time I rested and my mind cleared up all the way and I realized I had had a seizure. I knew this from past experience, although did I mention this was my very first seizure all alone?!? All my other seizures someone has been there to prevent me from getting up, which apparently I always want to do when the seizure's over, and to comfort me, because I always feel terrified while coming to. Well, anyway, I took all those factors into consideration, as well as the fact that my tongue was a bit bitten and my upper arms were incredibly sore; all normal. Hubby came home, very concerned, and held my hand while I slept and recovered, sweet man of mine.
Here's to hoping I can beat my record and go over six years seizure-free this time!
Well, how did this seizure affect our thoughts and feelings toward adopting? It definitely had a big effect for both of us. I guess this seizure was a bit of wake-up call for us. We knew epilepsy would affect our parenting, but we hadn't really talked about it thoroughly or made any specific plans. Now, all of a sudden, both of us completely doubted my ability to parent. We didn't talk about it immediately but each knew what the other was thinking. I went from being completely excited about adopting (with the occasional "we'll never get matched" times, of course) to completely losing my joy. I didn't read any of my (thousands of) adoption blogs I follow, nor blog here, nor read about adoption, dream about it, and I didn't even want to talk about it. I felt completely --blank-- inside.
When Hubby & I first approached the topic with each other, I broke down into those physically-painful sobs: I could not, would not, consider not adopting. I'd already had one dream - pregnancy - stolen from me, I would not have another!! We decided to not talk further about it right then. We prayed about it. I read up about parenting with epilepsy. We set a date to talk about it more thoroughly. When we talked about it we found we were both scared about continuing but I wanted to more; he wanted to quit more. We talked a couple times and never got upset with each other which was wonderful.
We took some steps: I made an appointment with my neurologist (well, I had to find a new one, so that appt's coming up) to see if he knows any parents with my specific kind of epilepsy. I also talked to some family members to see how willing they would be to babysit in the early mornings for the first few years of Baby's life and that has been encouraging all around. Hubby read what I had found on parenting with epilepsy. He also talked with a trusted friend who I know is praying for us as well. We agreed to continue, and if we get matched, awesome, and if not, perhaps that is God's way of saying "no". I talked with my regular doctor and she was very encouraging, saying she supports me completely, that I will be a good parent, etc. A close family member who is very supportive of us adopting has committed to helping babysit as needed. Although we are now looking at things more realistically, we are all around feeling more hopeful. My joy is returning. Praise the Lord!
Friday, August 15, 2014
No Fruit on the Vines
If you ever have a chance to, read Habakkuk in the MacArthur Study Bible, ESV, along with the notes (it's only 3 chapters long, and totally worth it).
I found it very inspiring, how in the hard times when Habakkuk was questioning God about how [he perceived] God was ignoring the problem, Habakkuk ultimately ended up choosing to have confidence in God, to quietly wait for Him to act, and to rejoice in Him.
I found it very inspiring, how in the hard times when Habakkuk was questioning God about how [he perceived] God was ignoring the problem, Habakkuk ultimately ended up choosing to have confidence in God, to quietly wait for Him to act, and to rejoice in Him.
"Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation."
Habakkuk 3:17-18
Monday, June 16, 2014
Motherhood Month - 9
Progress: 1 year, 1 month, and 2 days
How I'm feeling: Irritable, can't think clearly, down, anxious...I could go on. But that's just hormones and will resolve itself yet. Whenever my body decides to behave like normal.
Craving: FOOD!! I am hungry! Lasagna would be nice. (about those hormones...)
Thoughts about our child: Hoping you will exist and I'm not just dreaming this all up.
Thoughts about child's expectant mom: Curious. Always curious.
Most recent baby purchase/gift: For Father's Day yesterday I gave my husband a onesie and matching shorts. The onesie says "Daddy's Little Cupcake". It's for a girl; even though we don't know if we will get a boy or a girl, I buy items for each, plus gender-neutral. He loved it.
This month God: Lately has felt far away. I know that's just the hormones, though. And feelings is not what this relationship is based upon anyway, thankfully!
How I'm feeling: Irritable, can't think clearly, down, anxious...I could go on. But that's just hormones and will resolve itself yet. Whenever my body decides to behave like normal.
Craving: FOOD!! I am hungry! Lasagna would be nice. (about those hormones...)
Thoughts about our child: Hoping you will exist and I'm not just dreaming this all up.
Thoughts about child's expectant mom: Curious. Always curious.
Most recent baby purchase/gift: For Father's Day yesterday I gave my husband a onesie and matching shorts. The onesie says "Daddy's Little Cupcake". It's for a girl; even though we don't know if we will get a boy or a girl, I buy items for each, plus gender-neutral. He loved it.
This month God: Lately has felt far away. I know that's just the hormones, though. And feelings is not what this relationship is based upon anyway, thankfully!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Motherhood Month - 5
Progress: Valentine's Day was exactly 9 months since we were approved to adopt and started waiting for the call.
Mood: Reaching the 9 month point naturally brings about some thoughts like if I had actually been pregnant these last 9 months, and not "just" paper pregnant, we could potentially have a baby by now.
Cravings: Currently, nothing. But that would probably be because I just ate a plate full of nachos. I should give you my recipe!
Thoughts about our child: Hubby and I recently had a really good conversation about how we hope to raise our future child(ren). And of course I'm just always looking forward to meeting Baby.
Thoughts about our child's expectant mom: Just curious about her personality and what we'll have in common; what will trigger her picking us.
Most recent baby purchase/gift: I ordered some adorable leggings from babyleggings.com during one of their promotions but they have not arrived yet.
This month God: Has been teaching me so much and I am just trying to remember it all! Love it.
Mood: Reaching the 9 month point naturally brings about some thoughts like if I had actually been pregnant these last 9 months, and not "just" paper pregnant, we could potentially have a baby by now.
Cravings: Currently, nothing. But that would probably be because I just ate a plate full of nachos. I should give you my recipe!
Thoughts about our child: Hubby and I recently had a really good conversation about how we hope to raise our future child(ren). And of course I'm just always looking forward to meeting Baby.
Thoughts about our child's expectant mom: Just curious about her personality and what we'll have in common; what will trigger her picking us.
Most recent baby purchase/gift: I ordered some adorable leggings from babyleggings.com during one of their promotions but they have not arrived yet.
This month God: Has been teaching me so much and I am just trying to remember it all! Love it.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
So Much Time to Think
One thing I have found with having to wait so long to have a baby (about 6.5 years since I started wanting to start TTC; 9 months since we were approved) is how much time I have to think. Worry, doubt, get scared, etc. I'm guessing that for those who get pregnant as soon as they want to (or even before they want to) they don't have as much time to think. For example, to me the thought of being given the responsibility of keeping a tiny, precious, human being alive can sometimes be rather overwhelming. How do you know exactly what to feed him? I've peeked down the baby aisles in the grocery stores - intimidating! How much? How often? What do you do when she's sick? How do know when it's serious or not? What about SIDS??? I also sometimes doubt myself as a parent, if I will be able to do a good job for my child(ren). Yes, I've read some books (The Mother of All Baby Books and The Happiest Baby on the Block) and many articles online. I've quizzed my sister, sister-in-law, mom and mom-in-law. But how will I retain all this "book knowledge" without hands-on practice? Some people say it will just be instinct. But I don't know. Others say I'll learn as I go, but I don't want my newborn to be a guinea pig! I'm not spending all my time worrying, but I have definitely found that when given a long length of time like those of us who are adopting, it gives me a lot of time to think, think, think.
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:5-8
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:5-8
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Motherhood Month - 4
Progress: It has been 8 months since we got approved.
Mood: Fairly good.
Cravings: Chocolate. Water.
Thoughts about our child: I cannot wait to hold you in my arms and cherish you and call you mine. You are so precious to me already.
Thoughts about our child's expectant mom: Still always wondering where you are at right now and what you are experiencing in your life.
Most recent baby gift/purchase: Well, I showed you here what I received for Christmas. I mentioned here that I had bought my hubby something for Christmas but never showed you what, so here it is:
This month God: Wow, He is so patient with me, continually teaching me truths and reaffirming to me that He has saved me, not by anything I have done, but He did it all. And if He is the one alone who saved me, He is also the one alone who maintains my salvation and keeps me saved. My holding onto Him helps me nothing. His holding on to me is everything, and nothing I do or don't do will cause Him to let go. Praise God!
Mood: Fairly good.
Cravings: Chocolate. Water.
Thoughts about our child: I cannot wait to hold you in my arms and cherish you and call you mine. You are so precious to me already.
Thoughts about our child's expectant mom: Still always wondering where you are at right now and what you are experiencing in your life.
Most recent baby gift/purchase: Well, I showed you here what I received for Christmas. I mentioned here that I had bought my hubby something for Christmas but never showed you what, so here it is:
 | ||
| My husband is a birder so I love buying him anything with birds on it. |
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Summing up 2013...Looking Forward to 2014
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I did. I love gatherings, people, presents, etc! We spent all day Christmas Eve at Hubby's parents' with them and Hubby's brother who was home from university for the holidays. Christmas Day was spent with my mom-in-law's side of the family at Hubby's uncle & aunt's. Boxing Day was spent at my parents'. I always look forward the most to Christmas at my parents' and this year was no exception. The next day we got a bit of a break until suppertime when we went out to eat with my dad's side of the family. A lot of these people I only see once a year. The next day we finally had Christmas with just the 2 of us. It was very relaxing and I didn't have to worry about food (I am intolerant to a lot of foods) and we could just enjoy each other. Of course I am still hopeful that it was the last Christmas with just the 2 of us, but who knows! God does, and I like knowing He's in control.
To read my summing up 2012 post, click here.
2013 was a year of a lot of changes. The main things (that I am willing to share) were:
Here are some of the things I am looking forward to in 2014, the Lord willing:
Oh, and you know how I was pessimistically saying I didn't think I would get any baby-related stuff as gifts this Christmas? Well, I was wrong. I'm starting to feel like I don't need a pre-baby shower after all, because people are definitely showing me they care!
To read my summing up 2012 post, click here.
2013 was a year of a lot of changes. The main things (that I am willing to share) were:
- We bought a new place and started renovations.
- Hubby switched positions at his job from being a truck driver to working in the office.
- Moved from the country into town.
- Completed all the adoption paperwork we've been working on for so long and submitted our file to our agency.
- Hubby got politely fired from his office job for refusing to ask his drivers to break rules. After we got over being devastated, we decided he will continue pursuing his flight training instead of driving truck again like they offered him.
- Both homestudy interviews got scheduled and rescheduled until they were finally completed.
- We got officially approved to adopt and started waiting on May 14.
- My sister E landed up in the hospital due to pancreas inflamation. She was in good spirits so unlike the whole cancer thing she went through last year. She had surgery to have her gallbladder out.
- Started hosting our church group at our house for church every Sunday morning. Up til now we'd always had it at my brothers'. We are a small group of 8 regulars but I love them all dearly.
- I became an independent rep for Regal to start helping earn a little income.
- Hubby completed his flight training and passed his flight tests. He put in applications for flying jobs.
- Hubby started driving truck again, for a different company, as we wait for a flying job offer.
- We had adoption maternity pictures taken with a professional photographer. It was a great experience and we love the pictures!
- I had a benign cyst removed from my breast. Did not enjoy being awake for the surgery!
- We reached the 6 month mark of being approved. Found out we haven't been shown yet which was not surprising but still disappointing.
- Hubby and his fellow employees were laid off for the Winter. He has applied for EI which we are waiting on but he does get called in to work some days, usually to haul snow after blizzards.
Here are some of the things I am looking forward to in 2014, the Lord willing:
- Well, obviously I think it would be AWESOME if we would be matched and be blessed with a baby!
- It's my hubby's big 3-0 this year. I would love to throw him a huge surprise party but he is an introvert and big crowds of people is so not his thing. And definitely not surprises!
- Assuming we don't have a baby by then, we'll be updating our profile this Spring, since it will be the 1 year mark.
- I'm hoping God will answer some of my prayers with a "yes!".
- I'm sure there are other things I am looking forward to in 2014, I just can't think of them right now!
Oh, and you know how I was pessimistically saying I didn't think I would get any baby-related stuff as gifts this Christmas? Well, I was wrong. I'm starting to feel like I don't need a pre-baby shower after all, because people are definitely showing me they care!
 |
| These are onesies, sleepers, a blanket, and a soother with clip that my mom-in-law, bro-in-law, and dad gave me this Christmas. Feeling loved :) |
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Praising God in the Pain
This has got to be one of the best articles I've read in a while:
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Christmas is Coming
Well, Christmas is coming (48 days) and decorations are starting to show
up around our house! This is the first year we've had Christmas in
this house (we moved here in February). So I'm pretty excited about
decorating.
The tree will hopefully be going up in a week and a half. I'm very
excited about it! Have you started Christmas decorating yet?
For those of you who don't have children in your home, does it make the holiday season harder? Or do the festivities distract you?
Do you buy anything for your future child(ren)? I have never bought a Christmas present specifically for our future child(ren), but I have given my husband presents that I guess are technically for the child. For example, last Christmas I gave him a little white onesie with a red stocking on it that said "Daddy's Best Present".
Do you ask for any gifts for your future child(ren)? I think this is the first year that I have put on my Christmas wishlists things like gift cards for Babies R Us. People may hardly ever talk about the fact that we are going to be parents, but I won't let them forget! Sometimes I really wish people would treat us as expectant parents. Ah well.
Do you have any special ornaments you put on your tree that remind you of children you have lost or children you will gain? I wish I could find a special ornament that we could put on our tree each year that would say something like "Waiting for you to spend all your Christmases with us."
 |
| Pretty glass snowflake tealight holders in the living room. |
 |
| Seashore Christmas decor in the bathroom! |
 |
| A few snowball ornaments added to the bathroom seashore decor. |
For those of you who don't have children in your home, does it make the holiday season harder? Or do the festivities distract you?
Do you buy anything for your future child(ren)? I have never bought a Christmas present specifically for our future child(ren), but I have given my husband presents that I guess are technically for the child. For example, last Christmas I gave him a little white onesie with a red stocking on it that said "Daddy's Best Present".
Do you ask for any gifts for your future child(ren)? I think this is the first year that I have put on my Christmas wishlists things like gift cards for Babies R Us. People may hardly ever talk about the fact that we are going to be parents, but I won't let them forget! Sometimes I really wish people would treat us as expectant parents. Ah well.
Do you have any special ornaments you put on your tree that remind you of children you have lost or children you will gain? I wish I could find a special ornament that we could put on our tree each year that would say something like "Waiting for you to spend all your Christmases with us."
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Motherhood Month - 1
Fellow adoption blogger Kristen, over at Adoption Love, does these posts every Monday called "Motherhood Monday"s. She says, "Pregnant moms get to do weekly updates. They get to share ultrasound pictures and crazy craving stories....I've seen expectant moms keep records of mood swings and belly-button expansion, all the joys of pregnancy. Why can't I do the same, just with a few modifications? And so Motherhood Mondays has been born." I personally think this is a brilliant idea! So, with her go-ahead, I am doing the same thing :) I'm calling mine "Motherhood Month"s because I will only be doing an update every month on, or as close as I can to, the 14th, which is the date we got approved. So here goes!
Progress: We've been waiting 5 months. (Well, since we got approved, that is! I've been waiting for Baby for about 6 years!)
Mood: This changes almost by the minute. Sometimes, like today, my stomach still lurches when the phone rings; sometimes I feel acceptance that it will just be the two of us for the rest of our lives (those are very brief moments). I still catch myself daydreaming a lot about getting the call. Lately I have not felt despair, that we won't ever get picked, so that is good.
Cravings: Well, I am in the middle of eating a plate of TastiTaters dipped in Ranch dressing, so I'm not really craving anything right now.
Thoughts about our child: I can't wait to meet you...!
Thoughts about our expectant mom: I wonder what you are going through right now. What is your life like right now?
Most recent baby purchase/gift: Sometimes I can handle the baby dept. of a store; sometimes I cannot. Yesterday I was grocery shopping by myself and went through the baby clothes dept. to get to the other side of the store. I got distracted by the insanely cute clothes! I ended up buying a little shirt with a plane on it for my hubby whose birthday is today (he's a pilot).
This week God: has shown me that being corrected by a fellow Believer, when done in love, can be an encouraging experience and a time to grow and learn, if I choose to be humble.
Progress: We've been waiting 5 months. (Well, since we got approved, that is! I've been waiting for Baby for about 6 years!)
Mood: This changes almost by the minute. Sometimes, like today, my stomach still lurches when the phone rings; sometimes I feel acceptance that it will just be the two of us for the rest of our lives (those are very brief moments). I still catch myself daydreaming a lot about getting the call. Lately I have not felt despair, that we won't ever get picked, so that is good.
Cravings: Well, I am in the middle of eating a plate of TastiTaters dipped in Ranch dressing, so I'm not really craving anything right now.
Thoughts about our child: I can't wait to meet you...!
Thoughts about our expectant mom: I wonder what you are going through right now. What is your life like right now?
Most recent baby purchase/gift: Sometimes I can handle the baby dept. of a store; sometimes I cannot. Yesterday I was grocery shopping by myself and went through the baby clothes dept. to get to the other side of the store. I got distracted by the insanely cute clothes! I ended up buying a little shirt with a plane on it for my hubby whose birthday is today (he's a pilot).
This week God: has shown me that being corrected by a fellow Believer, when done in love, can be an encouraging experience and a time to grow and learn, if I choose to be humble.
Pregnant
moms get to do weekly updates. They get to share ultrasound pictures
and crazy craving stories. When I was pregnant with our daughter I took
"belly" pictures to record her growth. I've seen expectant moms keep
records of mood swings and belly-button expansion, all the joys of
pregnancy. Why can't I do the same, just with a few modifications? And
so, Motherhood Mondays has been born. - See more at:
http://joshandkrisloveadoption.blogspot.ca/search/label/Motherhood%20Mondays#sthash.p3Du9kZK.dpuf
Pregnant
moms get to do weekly updates. They get to share ultrasound pictures
and crazy craving stories. When I was pregnant with our daughter I took
"belly" pictures to record her growth. I've seen expectant moms keep
records of mood swings and belly-button expansion, all the joys of
pregnancy. Why can't I do the same, just with a few modifications? And
so, Motherhood Mondays has been born. - See more at:
http://joshandkrisloveadoption.blogspot.ca/search/label/Motherhood%20Mondays#sthash.p3Du9kZK.dpuf
Pregnant
moms get to do weekly updates. They get to share ultrasound pictures
and crazy craving stories. When I was pregnant with our daughter I took
"belly" pictures to record her growth. I've seen expectant moms keep
records of mood swings and belly-button expansion, all the joys of
pregnancy. Why can't I do the same, just with a few modifications? And
so, Motherhood Mondays has been born. - See more at:
http://joshandkrisloveadoption.blogspot.ca/search/label/Motherhood%20Mondays#sthash.p3Du9kZK.dpuf
Monday, September 30, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Currently
Craving...food :) But it's too close to suppertime to eat much of anything, so I'm having a hot apple cider instead :)
Listening to...the crickets! They are LOUD and ABUNDANT!! We usually like to sleep with the windows open in summertime, but the crickets haven't allowed for it this year - way too loud. Also hearing the little children playing on the other side of the fence.
Making me sad...antidepressants, sleeping pills, etc, and what they have done to those I love.
Missing...my hubby, because I almost always miss him while he's at work and especially while I am sad, and our future baby whom I don't even know.
Thankful for...so much! Hot apple cider, that it still feels like summer even though it's Sept. 10, that I am no longer on antidepressants, for my wonderful hubby, that we are approved to adopt and really could get "the call" any minute :)
Listening to...the crickets! They are LOUD and ABUNDANT!! We usually like to sleep with the windows open in summertime, but the crickets haven't allowed for it this year - way too loud. Also hearing the little children playing on the other side of the fence.
Making me sad...antidepressants, sleeping pills, etc, and what they have done to those I love.
Missing...my hubby, because I almost always miss him while he's at work and especially while I am sad, and our future baby whom I don't even know.
Thankful for...so much! Hot apple cider, that it still feels like summer even though it's Sept. 10, that I am no longer on antidepressants, for my wonderful hubby, that we are approved to adopt and really could get "the call" any minute :)
Monday, September 9, 2013
Willow Tree Figurines
Do you have any of those Willow Tree figurines? Or have you seen them in people's homes or in stores? I've always seen them and loved them. Unfortunately I was always seeing the ones of the pregnant woman, with her beautiful curving belly. I really didn't think there was any other one besides that one and I think a couple.
Anyway, sometime last year I was in a store and I was admiring their Willow Tree figurines. And I saw this one:
And it was on sale. I decided to buy it right there and then and hide it away, and then give it to my husband the day we got approved. Well, time went by, and we moved. And then when we got approved, that day was a whole lot less exciting than I thought it would be. And anyway, I totally forgot I had this tucked in a box somewhere until way later. I came across it by accident and was very disappointed and frustrated with myself. I ended up giving it to my husband anyway. And he was very sweet about it.
The figurine is titled "New Dad" and the caption reads "In awe and wonder of what's to come."
I found four figurines on the Willow Tree website that I wanted for myself! My husband gave me this one for my birthday last month:
It is titled "Angel of Mine" and the caption reads "So loved, so very loved." It was my top pick. The other three that I also liked are:
"Child of My Heart" - "Child of the world, Into my heart you came - Bringing sun into my life, Making family our name."
"Guardian" - "Love and protect thee, forever."
"The Quilt" - "Sleep my child and peace...peace...Covered in love and keep...keep..."
P.S. This is not supposed to be an ad for Willow Tree. I just really like the artists' work and wanted to show you which ones my husband and I had gotten each other :)
Anyway, sometime last year I was in a store and I was admiring their Willow Tree figurines. And I saw this one:
 |
The figurine is titled "New Dad" and the caption reads "In awe and wonder of what's to come."
I found four figurines on the Willow Tree website that I wanted for myself! My husband gave me this one for my birthday last month:
 |
"Child of My Heart" - "Child of the world, Into my heart you came - Bringing sun into my life, Making family our name."
"Guardian" - "Love and protect thee, forever."
"The Quilt" - "Sleep my child and peace...peace...Covered in love and keep...keep..."
P.S. This is not supposed to be an ad for Willow Tree. I just really like the artists' work and wanted to show you which ones my husband and I had gotten each other :)
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
August ICLW
Hello to those of you participating in ICLW!
Just a quick blurb on me.
My husband and I are approved to adopt and are waiting for "The Call". Have questions? Feel free to ask - I love talking about [most] aspects of our story and definitely about adoption.
I love cats.
And chocolate.
I am currently eating on Organic Soy-Free Swiss Milk Chocolate bar - it's my drug of choice during PMS. I can't eat soy, amongst many other things, so I was very happy to find this bar.
I recently turned 31. I was told it would be harder than turning 30, but 31 was pretty much a non-event for me. Once upon a time I "planned" on being done having kids by age 30. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! Ultimately, though, I'm glad God is in charge because I think He knows what He's doing a whole lot better than me.
What do you think of this idea?
Do you scrapbook? I do, and make cards, and stamp, and I love it all! This is my most recent completed page, pretty much baring my heart.
Is anybody else like this? I find myself obsessing about all things baby-related - the clothes, oh, the adorable onesies and shoes, and the how-to take care of a baby books, and looking at pins for ideas on decorating a nursery, etc. Yet at the same time I feel as if the pregnant people are stalking me, because they're everywhere, and really does every article and book and TV show and conversation have to include pregnancy, labour and delivery, nursing, and how nothing compares to said experiences??
I also love corn on the cob. And tis the season for corn on the cob!
And I'm hungry.
And I'm like a squirrel, jumping from topic to topic. Makes it more interesting for you! :D
Just a quick blurb on me.
My husband and I are approved to adopt and are waiting for "The Call". Have questions? Feel free to ask - I love talking about [most] aspects of our story and definitely about adoption.
I love cats.
And chocolate.
I am currently eating on Organic Soy-Free Swiss Milk Chocolate bar - it's my drug of choice during PMS. I can't eat soy, amongst many other things, so I was very happy to find this bar.
I recently turned 31. I was told it would be harder than turning 30, but 31 was pretty much a non-event for me. Once upon a time I "planned" on being done having kids by age 30. Bwahahahahaha!!!!! Ultimately, though, I'm glad God is in charge because I think He knows what He's doing a whole lot better than me.
What do you think of this idea?
Do you scrapbook? I do, and make cards, and stamp, and I love it all! This is my most recent completed page, pretty much baring my heart.
Is anybody else like this? I find myself obsessing about all things baby-related - the clothes, oh, the adorable onesies and shoes, and the how-to take care of a baby books, and looking at pins for ideas on decorating a nursery, etc. Yet at the same time I feel as if the pregnant people are stalking me, because they're everywhere, and really does every article and book and TV show and conversation have to include pregnancy, labour and delivery, nursing, and how nothing compares to said experiences??
I also love corn on the cob. And tis the season for corn on the cob!
And I'm hungry.
And I'm like a squirrel, jumping from topic to topic. Makes it more interesting for you! :D
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Baby Registry
I made a baby registry and am attempting to add things to it. That sentence feels surreal. There's a lot of thoughts going on in my head here.
One, the website says you have to enter in an "expected arrival date". They say "Expected arrival date is your due date or, for families that are adopting, the date you expect to bring the baby home." First of all, kudos for acknowledging adoption. Thank you. ...But we have no date we expect to bring baby home! And I am not waiting to make a registry until we get matched, because we could get matched just days before baby is born. (More likely it'll be weeks, but who knows.) After talking about it with Hubby, we decided to enter in the absolute latest date they would allow us. So our "expected arrival date" is set for June 11, 2014. Then, if I understand correctly, it stays active for a year after that. So I guess if we don't have our baby by June 11, 2015, I make a new registry. Products will probably have already changed by then anyway.
Two, I feel slightly like a fake; a girl playing house. I'm not pregnant, we're not matched, it hasn't even sunk in yet that we could get a call any day. It feels like someone's going to call me out yet and tell me I'm not a "real" expectant parent so why am I making a registry? And maybe laugh at me to boot.
Three, it is REALLY difficult figuring out what to register for!!! I have this long list I've compiled from Through Clouded Glass's old feature, Moms and Babies, where moms shared some of their must-have products. I've also bookmarked half a dozen must-have lists from various websites and blogs. But I still have only registered for 5 things!! I feel like I don't even have a clue what are the essentials for a newborn. Poor baby. We will take care of you, really.
Four, I feel partially crazy for registering already when it may be years upon years until we get matched. But I want a small surprise baby shower before we are matched, and Hubby knows this, so he says to go ahead and make the registry, and send him wishlists and party ideas, etc, that he can pass on to the women in the family. So I'm doing it. Scary! There may be a shower in a couple months, and then all the gifts will sit for years. Or perhaps we don't even get the shower in time before we're matched and we have to scramble buying stuff! So many unknowns. (We've made it clear we don't want any baby showers during the 3 weeks that the mom can change her mind. After that, though, I want a huge shower with every relative and friend possible!!)
For those of you in the adoption realm, when did you make a registry? Or did you even? How did you figure out what to add to it (if it was your first baby, like me)? Did you buy a lot of things yourself or did you get a lot of things as gifts? Did you wait to buy things until you were matched or even until every thing had gone through, or did you stock up ahead of time? What would you consider the essentials for a newborn (no nursing stuff please)? Any other advice for me and my insecurity? ;) Thank you!
One, the website says you have to enter in an "expected arrival date". They say "Expected arrival date is your due date or, for families that are adopting, the date you expect to bring the baby home." First of all, kudos for acknowledging adoption. Thank you. ...But we have no date we expect to bring baby home! And I am not waiting to make a registry until we get matched, because we could get matched just days before baby is born. (More likely it'll be weeks, but who knows.) After talking about it with Hubby, we decided to enter in the absolute latest date they would allow us. So our "expected arrival date" is set for June 11, 2014. Then, if I understand correctly, it stays active for a year after that. So I guess if we don't have our baby by June 11, 2015, I make a new registry. Products will probably have already changed by then anyway.
Two, I feel slightly like a fake; a girl playing house. I'm not pregnant, we're not matched, it hasn't even sunk in yet that we could get a call any day. It feels like someone's going to call me out yet and tell me I'm not a "real" expectant parent so why am I making a registry? And maybe laugh at me to boot.
Three, it is REALLY difficult figuring out what to register for!!! I have this long list I've compiled from Through Clouded Glass's old feature, Moms and Babies, where moms shared some of their must-have products. I've also bookmarked half a dozen must-have lists from various websites and blogs. But I still have only registered for 5 things!! I feel like I don't even have a clue what are the essentials for a newborn. Poor baby. We will take care of you, really.
Four, I feel partially crazy for registering already when it may be years upon years until we get matched. But I want a small surprise baby shower before we are matched, and Hubby knows this, so he says to go ahead and make the registry, and send him wishlists and party ideas, etc, that he can pass on to the women in the family. So I'm doing it. Scary! There may be a shower in a couple months, and then all the gifts will sit for years. Or perhaps we don't even get the shower in time before we're matched and we have to scramble buying stuff! So many unknowns. (We've made it clear we don't want any baby showers during the 3 weeks that the mom can change her mind. After that, though, I want a huge shower with every relative and friend possible!!)
For those of you in the adoption realm, when did you make a registry? Or did you even? How did you figure out what to add to it (if it was your first baby, like me)? Did you buy a lot of things yourself or did you get a lot of things as gifts? Did you wait to buy things until you were matched or even until every thing had gone through, or did you stock up ahead of time? What would you consider the essentials for a newborn (no nursing stuff please)? Any other advice for me and my insecurity? ;) Thank you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)