Motherhood Month - 17

Progress:  It has been 2 years + 5 months + 1 day since we were approved to adopt.  We took a 5-month hiatus from April 28 - Sept. 22 of this year.

How I'm Feeling:  It feels good to be actively waiting to adopt again.  The five months off were our choice and we felt they were necessary, as we felt my health needed to be under better control before we felt comfortable proceeding with adoption.  I say it as if going on hold was easy.  It was not.  I had a lot of feelings before we went on hold and while we were on hold, that ranged from anguish to anger to fear to confusion to grief to apathy to relief to sadness to contentment...and not necessarily in that order.  I would say that now that we're active again, I am still looking forward to getting "the call" and without a doubt I still want to be a mom, but unlike a couple of years ago it is no longer an all-consuming desire that controls me.

Craving:  A glass of water and some plain Ruffles potato chips.

Thoughts About Our Future Child:  Looking forward to holding you, snuggling you and smelling your newborn smell.

Thoughts About Our Child's Expectant Mom:  I'm thankful you're not choosing to abort.

Most Recent Baby Purchase/Gift:  I bought a little something for my hubby, whose birthday is tomorrow.