One thing I have found with having to wait so long to have a baby (about 6.5 years since I started wanting to start TTC; 9 months since we were approved) is how much time I have to think. Worry, doubt, get scared, etc. I'm guessing that for those who get pregnant as soon as they want to (or even before they want to) they don't have as much time to think. For example, to me the thought of being given the responsibility of keeping a tiny, precious, human being alive can sometimes be rather overwhelming. How do you know exactly what to feed him? I've peeked down the baby aisles in the grocery stores - intimidating! How much? How often? What do you do when she's sick? How do know when it's serious or not? What about SIDS??? I also sometimes doubt myself as a parent, if I will be able to do a good job for my child(ren). Yes, I've read some books (The Mother of All Baby Books and The Happiest Baby on the Block) and many articles online. I've quizzed my sister, sister-in-law, mom and mom-in-law. But how will I retain all this "book knowledge" without hands-on practice? Some people say it will just be instinct. But I don't know. Others say I'll learn as I go, but I don't want my newborn to be a guinea pig! I'm not spending all my time worrying, but I have definitely found that when given a long length of time like those of us who are adopting, it gives me a lot of time to think, think, think.
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:5-8
In the states you meet with the pediatrician monthly and they tell you. Everything you need to know. They are amazing at telling you what they want... and they are persistent until they get it. I did the same thing. I still have nightmares of having to call D to tell her I caused the early end of her daughters life. (I think that adds to it was well... someone ELSE is trusting ME to care for THEIR baby!!)
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