Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Baby Registry

I made a baby registry and am attempting to add things to it.  That sentence feels surreal.  There's a lot of thoughts going on in my head here.

One, the website says you have to enter in an "expected arrival date".  They say "Expected arrival date is your due date or, for families that are adopting, the date you expect to bring the baby home."  First of all, kudos for acknowledging adoption.  Thank you.  ...But we have no date we expect to bring baby home!  And I am not waiting to make a registry until we get matched, because we could get matched just days before baby is born.  (More likely it'll be weeks, but who knows.)  After talking about it with Hubby, we decided to enter in the absolute latest date they would allow us. So our "expected arrival date" is set for June 11, 2014.  Then, if I understand correctly, it stays active for a year after that.  So I guess if we don't have our baby by June 11, 2015, I make a new registry.  Products will probably have already changed by then anyway.

Two, I feel slightly like a fake; a girl playing house.  I'm not pregnant, we're not matched, it hasn't even sunk in yet that we could get a call any day.  It feels like someone's going to call me out yet and tell me I'm not a "real" expectant parent so why am I making a registry?  And maybe laugh at me to boot.

Three, it is REALLY difficult figuring out what to register for!!!  I have this long list I've compiled from Through Clouded Glass's old feature, Moms and Babies, where moms shared some of their must-have products.  I've also bookmarked half a dozen must-have lists from various websites and blogs.  But I still have only registered for 5 things!!  I feel like I don't even have a clue what are the essentials for a newborn.  Poor baby.  We will take care of you, really.

Four, I feel partially crazy for registering already when it may be years upon years until we get matched.  But I want a small surprise baby shower before we are matched, and Hubby knows this, so he says to go ahead and make the registry, and send him wishlists and party ideas, etc, that he can pass on to the women in the family.  So I'm doing it.  Scary!  There may be a shower in a couple months, and then all the gifts will sit for years.  Or perhaps we don't even get the shower in time before we're matched and we have to scramble buying stuff!  So many unknowns.  (We've made it clear we don't want any baby showers during the 3 weeks that the mom can change her mind.  After that, though, I want a huge shower with every relative and friend possible!!)

For those of you in the adoption realm, when did you make a registry?  Or did you even?  How did you figure out what to add to it (if it was your first baby, like me)?  Did you buy a lot of things yourself or did you get a lot of things as gifts?  Did you wait to buy things until you were matched or even until every thing had gone through, or did you stock up ahead of time?  What would you consider the essentials for a newborn (no nursing stuff please)?  Any other advice for me and my insecurity? ;)  Thank you!

8 comments:

  1. Hi Rhonda - we didn't make a registry until after the baby arrived. And honestly, even though I made a registry, I didn't get one thing - that's right, not one thing, off of it!!! I wasn't very good at advertising it though, so ... probably my own fault.

    Anyway, from my experience, you're going to get a ton of clothes from friends and family. I have yet to buy an outfit for J, with the exception of the outfits that we bought for her as a brand new newborn. I'd recommend that you have a week's worth of onesies and sleepers on hand for newborn babies (newborn size, or 0-3 months is fine too, although they may be a bit big).

    I wash all of J's clothes in unscented, no dye laundry soap, so having some of this on hand will be helpful. Just store it until the babe is here.

    You'll need a car seat - rather than buying one right away, maybe spend your time researching, as there are expiry dates on these.

    - DIAPERS! Get lots of diapers, haha. Wipes, vaseline, zinc oxide cream.

    - BOTTLES! (We use Dr. Brown's). Get the small ones and big ones - he/she'll need big ones by 3 months. A bottle warmer and a bottle sterilizer! These will save you so much hassle! (If you go Dr. Brown's, you can get all the Dr. Brown's stuff, which is pretty handy and I would recommend it all.)

    - Bibs and washcloths. Lots of bibs and washcloths, haha.

    - Bassinette if you plan on having baby sleep in your room.

    - Crib, crib mattress, crib sheets.

    - Mobile.

    - Swing!

    - Baby playmat (where they can lay on their back and play with the dangling objects).

    - Jumperoo

    - Exersaucer

    - Bathtub and baby soap

    - Playpen

    - Baby carrier (like the Ergo baby or something like that)

    - Diaper Genie

    And this is just the stuff you'll need in the first 3 months, hahaha.

    I also really like getting gift certificates to Wal.mart, Cost.co, and B.abiesRUs. The best value for diapers and wipes is Cost.co by far.

    Anyway, good luck!!! Let the shopping begin!!! :)

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    1. Thank you Alicia - you are invaluable!

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  2. Oh, also the "swaddle.me" blankets from B.abiesRUs were life savers the first 2 months!

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  3. I think the fascinating thing about the adoption world is that there really is not a lot of guidance out there. Even in the blog world I feel like I didn't see a whole lot of nitty gritty adoption talk until Single Infertile Female took Cheeks home. She has shared a lot of what things have been helpful to her along the way. Bottom line: there is no right answer. I don't think it sounds crazy to have a registry, we have had one for years, and every so often I would get something until finally it hurt too much to have all that stuff sitting in the closet. I have changed the arrival date more times than I would like to count. Best wishes!

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    1. Hi mommy someday - have you seen this blogroll? It's a list of over 300 adoption blogs. Happy reading!

      http://openadoptionbloggers.com/open-adoption-blogs/

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  4. Hi, I'm visiting from ICLW! We adopted, but internationally so we at least had a vague idea when she was coming so knowing when to register was a little easier. Good luck to you, and enjoy the registry-making!

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  5. We registered before we were matched. After we were matched I left the hospital early one night to create a registry. Babies R us had an Adoption Registry which I believe was open ended (but I could be wrong). We got a lot of stuff that we never used off of our registry. What I think I wish I had realized is what is one families must have is another families clutter. The bottle sanitation stuff didnt use. The initial bottles we got Baby Girl hated. Keep things simple - the gadgets are tempting but it was the most simple of things we loved (i.e. the play mat- not the one that sang or had lights just a simple play mat with toys that hung down entertained her for hours).

    The beauty to adoption is as long as you have the basics: bottles, diapers (we used cloth and loved them- bum genius), onsies, spit up clothes/bibs (lots), bath towels, a sink for washing (we didn't use a baby tub initially), a place for them to sleep and a swing - you are good. Start simple and realize you will be inundated with STUFF.

    A lot of people told me not to get a changing table as you will never use it. I hardly ever change her anywhere but the changing table. Also something distracting above the changing table has been a life saver- we have wind chimes hanging that I can hit to catch her attention and keep her on her back.

    Alicia did a great job summing things up. I recommend getting a boppy pillow as well. Its great for feedings, tummy time and eventually support for sitting. (dont waste your $ on one of those Bumbo chairs.

    http://ttababy.blogspot.com/2011/11/unsolicited-advice.html (here is my request for advice on what you need)

    Also I made a list for our hospital bag but I can't seem to find the blog post. I put together a bag with all the things that would have to go if we got a call. This included onsies, receiving blankets, diapers, copies of the paper work we would have to have with us, and other things I can't think of anymore. I also in the bag had a list of things I need to be sure to grab but were not kept in the bag i.e. phone chargers and camera. We did in fact have a baby born situation so having the bag ready to go was helpful. Also its much easier when you have not frantic with excitement and fear to put together a bag. I know I used typical "hospital bag" lits. Just a warning the lists for "typical" hospital bags include things like slippers for mom (though hey I probably could have worn slippers at the hospital and no one would have said anything).
    I think thats all of my advice! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, TTABaby! I looked into it, and the American Babies R Us has the option of making an adoption registry, but the Canadian Babies R Us does not!! *Not* impressed with our Canadian Babies R Us right now! I do believe they will be hearing from me.

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