I would like to answer some of the questions/comments Hubby & I have gotten from people when they find out we're adopting or ask how things are coming along. There are a lot of misconceptions out there about adoption and I'd like to do my best to clear some of them up.
What kind of adoption are you doing?
We are doing what is called "Division 2" adoption. This is a private adoption where the birthparents choose and meet the prospective adoptive parents (us). We are doing an open adoption. This means there is full disclosure of identities from both sides. Private adoptions are always open.
What country are you adopting from?
From within our province.
What age child are you adopting?
We are applying to adopt a newborn. We hope to and will most likely meet the birthmother before the child is born.
Do you "pick" your child?
No, there is no nursery lined with bassinets and we just go in and pick the cutest baby! We do specify what we feel we can and cannot accept in birthparents and in a child. The birthparents also choose what they can and cannot accept in the prospective adoptive parents. Then a double-match is made.
Can the mother "take" her child back?
The mother must wait 48 hours after the birth of her child to sign consent. When the child is placed with us, a waiting period of 21 days start. During this time the mother can choose at any time to reverse and we would have to give her baby back. Reversals usually happen within the first few days of the 21-day period. Approximately 10% of placements result in reversals.
What a wonderful thing you are doing/So many children need homes!
Thank-you, but to be 100% honest, we want a baby, and our original plans didn't work out, so adoption is the route we've chosen to grow our family. To be blunt, if we'd been able to conceive, we very likely never would've gone down the route of adoption. Also, contrary to popular belief, there are WAAYY more prospective adoptive parents hoping to adopt than expecting parents planning to place their child for adoption. I believe there are about 80 singles/couples/families waiting to adopt at any given time and only about 10 children placed per year (with our agency). But don't get us wrong, just because "adoption is our second choice, does not mean it is second best!".
Isn't adoption really expensive?
Yes. It varies a lot with what kind of adoption you do, with who you go through, etc. For example, the average cost of adopting from Ethiopia is $20 - 25,000; from China is $30 - 35,000; from the USA is $35 - 45,000. If you adopt a permanent ward of the province, my understanding is you pay very little, if anything. For private adoptions through our agency, the fees come out to around $9,000. However, they use a sliding scale according to your income, so we are paying only about half of that, wonderfully! Also, there will be about $3 - 4,000 in legal fees.
When will you get your baby?
We don't know! There is no set gestation period in adoption! The AVERAGE time from approval to being matched (or til placement, not sure) is 2 years. However, it COULD be a much shorter wait than that, and it could also be a much longer wait than that.
I love talking about adoption, so please, if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :) I can answer them privately or on my blog. Also if you know if I have answered anything above incorrectly, please let me know.