Monday, July 16, 2012

Cancer

Cancer is not a pretty word.  I never really thought cancer would play a part in my life.  Now, before I scare you all, I don't have cancer and neither does Hubby!  But lately it seems like cancer is all around me.

My first experience with cancer, that I can remember, is when I was around 12; my best friend's younger sister had leukemia, I believe.  She passed away at, I think, age 10.  Among other things, I remember going to the funeral and I remember my friend crying at school.  Since then, until recently, I don't think I've really known anyone with cancer.  Actually, my cousin had lymphoma, I believe, but I can't remember when.  As far as I know he is fine now.

Last summer, my sis-in-law R's dad got skin cancer on his neck.  He had to have surgery, and is now fine, as far as I know.  It was a very stressful time for my sis-in-law.  Also last year, my close friend's sister was diagnosed with cancer.  My understanding is that the chemo quit helping her, and my heart breaks for my friend and her family.   I think they are trying radiation again now.

Then on February 8th of this year, my sister E found out that the lump in her breast was for sure cancer.  It was all very scary for our very close knit family who really had never had to deal with cancer before.  She had surgery on March 12th to remove the lump and to check if the lymph nodes around it were clear.  They were clear, but she still decided to have chemo as a guarantee.  Her first treatment was on May 28th, the second one on June 18th, the third one on July 9th, and THE LAST ONE WILL BE ON JULY 30TH!!!  Yes, we are all counting down the days, lol!  After that may or may not be radiation, I don't know.  I got to spend time with my sister during her second treatment.  The nurses treated her really well.  I also got to visit with a gentleman from the church I used to attend; he was there being treated for his lymphoma.

Hubby & I used to get together with 3 couples with young children from our old church every other Saturday, for years.  After Hubby's and my spiritual beliefs changed, we decided it would be best to leave the group, and sadly, I don't feel it went very well.  However, I think about these old friends a lot, and very recently found out one of their sons, only 7, has leukemia.  My heart is so sad for them and what they are going through.        

Life is not fair.  Simple and plain as that.  It makes me angry that my sister's life circumstances leave her without a husband to support her during this time.  It makes me angry that people would pressure her to make harmful choices she doesn't want to, and then make her feel bad when she finds the courage to say no.  Yet at the same time I am so extremely grateful to Christ that He would work things in such a way that she will most likely soon come out fine at the end of this, because she has two precious daughters who need their mommy so much.  But at the same time I feel bad, because why should MY sister be okay, when so many others have not been, and won't be?

Chemo is not pretty.  Well, personally, I think my sister is cute with her bald head, but seriously.  She is not doing good now.  Once upon a time I used to think chemo was only about losing your hair and being nauseous!  Ha!  I do feel pretty helpless, but I can encourage her, and I can give hugs.  And I can love on those two little girls like nobody's business.  Okay, they're 13 and 8 already, but they'll always be little in my opinion!   

I don't know if I have a conclusion here; I just needed to write about how I was feeling about all the cancer I feel is around me.  I suppose I haven't been completely open in sharing how I truly feel, because I don't know who all reads this blog from my family, and I don't want them to feel like they need to support me.  I have gone through a lot of tough, ugly things in my life when they have been there for me.  Right now, I need to be the one to support them.

2 comments:

  1. Cancer does suck and often leaves us all feeling helpless, angry, scared. I's good to find something that you CAN do to make things at least a little easier/better. hugs those girls :)

    Happy ICLW!

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  2. God is bigger than all our problems!He will carry us through this. The song that encouraged me the last time was in church "Never once did we ever walk alone!"

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