I have epilepsy.
Most people know this, as I've had it for the last 14 or so years and I don't mind talking about it. Most of the time it is not a huge part of my life. Yes, I am restricted in some areas of my life. But I have adjusted to these restrictions and they are just a part of my life. Only occasionally do I get frustrated or sad about it all.
But sometimes...sometimes I just get really mad at epilepsy.
I get angry at the limitations Hubby & I have to impose on myself in order to keep me safe and to keep him from feeling worried.
Yesterday was one of those days. I won't get into details. But it was a bad day for me epilepsy-wise, and to make matters worse, Hubby and I were not seeing eye-to-eye about it all.
Anyway, by the end of the day, when things were better both epilepsy-wise and relationship-wise, we were reading in my Bible before bed. And there was this verse:
"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He [God] has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."" Hebrews 13:5
Now usually I would take this verse in context and understand it to be saying to be content with the possessions and money that I do have, and not to wish for more, because God is all I need and He will never abandon or reject me. But this time just the one line jumped out at me:
"...be content with what you have..."
With what I have? I have epilepsy. I really felt the Holy Spirit was directing me to give up my anger towards epilepsy, and all its restrictions and limitations and "unfairness", and be content with it.
Be content with epilepsy.